Real Life: Handling Negative Nancy’s

erin aschow

I recently asked y’all on Twitter what you wanted me to blog about (in addition to all of my favorite food and travels). A number of people mentioned dealing with negativity or negative friends.

We all know a Negative Nancy, someone who just sucks the fun out of every situation. No matter how great things are, they’re sure to find a downside, an argument or complaint. With the internet being so life consuming, we’re all subject to a million Nancy’s. It’s almost like negative people flock to Instagram, Twitter, Blogs, etc just to vent their negative vibes and take their personal issues out on strangers.

So, in a world full of negative, angry, pissed off people, how do you deal and not let their toxic vibes into your life? Easier said than done, but here are a few tips…

DON’T ENGAGE. I REPEAT. DO NOT. ENGAGE.

9 times out of 10, negative people are looking for a reaction. It’s their goal to get you to crack. Why? A lot of times they’re miserable and want you to be just as miserable (seems counterproductive right?). Not to mention, you will never win. Even if you try to be rational, it’s likely to snowball into more negativity. You can try to give constructive comments, but after that, you have to back away. Or else you’re going to enter the ring with someone who won’t quit. Ever noticed how internet trolls just have a knack for continually arguing and turning any comment into something negative? Don’t engage. It’s exactly what they want. By ignoring the negativity, you’re not letting them get what they want. Not to mention it will keep your spirits up.

negativity quote

Keep It Low Key

So your friend (or not so friend) is on a negative bender. You can’t avoid it. But you can keep topics light. A lot of time negative people are triggered by specific topics. For instance… I know certain people who always complain when I ask them about work. That’s what’s called a “trigger topic”. If someone is deeply rooted in their negativity, sometimes changing the subject helps. Keep it easy… talk about mutual friends, music, movies, pets, current events, etc. Try to find things that they can stay positive about.

Be A Pal

Often times, negative people are crying out for help. It’s their way of saying that they need attention or need a little bit of help. Sometimes, they don’t even know it. So, simply asking “Hey, is everything ok?” or “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better” can make a huge difference.

Hangout In Groups

Hang out with 3 or more people. Being in a group can make a huge difference. It’s a lot easier to go down a negative spiral when you’re one on one with someone. Also, if there are multiple people hearing the negativity, you’ve got backup and can deal with it together.

Own Up

Ok, so this one is a little different. But, it’s important to take responsibility for how you react. What you’re seeing and hearing is your own perception. Other people might not see it the same way or be affected as much. So, try to take into consideration some of the good you see in that person. Basically the “Silver Lining Effect”. Even if you don’t know the person, maybe you can find  something you relate to or a common interest.

Worst Case Scenario

Avoid them, stop hanging out with them, or just block them. If it’s someone you know and nothing seems to help, don’t hang out with them as much! If it’s someone on the internet, BLOCK EM! Everyone has good days and bad days. But if someone isn’t adding value to your life, then maybe you should back off. No one needs negative vibes in there life.

erin aschowfor love and lemonserin aschow for love and lemons

Loving this Dress by the way! You can shop the look at Harper Trends! So cute for summer! You can totally dress it up with heels for night time or with sandals and a jean jacket during the day!

 

 

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of HarperTrends. The opinions and text are all mine.